So NOW The TRUTH Matters

It was reported in the NY Times today that George Tenet, the former of director of the CIA is dropping this BOMB in his new book "At the Center of the Storm"

WASHINGTON, April 26 — George J. Tenet, the former director of central intelligence, has lashed out against Vice President Dick Cheney and other Bush administration officials in a new book, saying they pushed the country to war in Iraq without ever conducting a “serious debate” about whether Saddam Hussein posed an imminent threat to the United States.

Isn't it amazing how now that the war has become unpopular and Bush's approval ratings remain low, that so many people are now starting to come after him and his administration.

Where the hell were the balls and ovaries of all the people speaking up now, when Bush was really cooking up the mess he created and served to America?

It's a damn shame things had to get this bad in order for the people on the inside or with potential to make change, decide that the TRUTH had to take priority over loyalty to the GOP or surmount their fear of revenge from those in power.

Alberto Gone Gonzo

I can't believe Alberto Gonzales testimony. I lost count of the number of times he used the "I do not recall" defense. Today I read several sources that say the final count is at least 70 times during his testimony. Ronald Reagan would have been proud.

How can ANYONE be the head of ANYTHING, and be effective at it, if they can't even recall what they did a few weeks or months ago. I mean he's suppose to be running the show and he came off like he had NO CLUE as to what was going on in his office.

Alberto, your performance was downright shameful. You need to find a quiet place, sit down with yourself, and ask some soul searching questions. You got busted lying about the shady shit going down. The honorable thing would have been to either come clean, or leave.

On Turning 39

Recently I turned 39 years old. It's an event that has pulled me emotionally in several directions. One thought that came to mind is how quickly it arrived. At times I feel so much like and adult, and often like I'm just starting to be one.

Overall I say that I am grateful. I know far too many people that did not make it this far. Don't forget babies my path has been a mine field of obstacles that if I failed to surmount them, it would have meant my demise. By the time I hit my mid-30s, I knew enough people that have died from the explosions of AIDS, drugs, poverty, mental anguish and violence, that I ran out of fingers and toes to count them. They remain a part of me, and I move forward in their honor.

Here are some obersvations and epiphanies I have about reaching almost 4 decades on this big blue marble in space:

• I've seen black power, the latino love of The Lords, the amazing fight for civil rights. A movement determined to shed colonial mentalites and negative self-indentities for people of color.
• I remember a time when there were only nine channels on tv and its transimission traveled through the air and it was free. Now there are over 200 channels and it enters from the ground and you have to pay for it (Annie Leibovitz shed that light). Now, via the Interent I move at the speed at light. So many ideas and worlds I can now just click into.
• I remember the first time I heard Planet Rock by Afrika Bambatta and Soul Sonic Force. It was that beat, those words that ushered me into being a teenager and a member of the hip hop generation. Now hip hop is dead. I'm eagerly awaiting the new sound from the children of a community that is poor and disenfranchised. The new sound that like hip hop, took scraps and made it into a sonic meal that fed the world.
• God Bless The Queens of the Christopher Street piers. She taught me how to strut it. She showed me how to read it. She told me to always give it. Most importantly, she taught me to be out, loud and proud.
• My brother and sister. Our blood ties are made even more sacred by our spiritual connection that I could only realize over time. Thank you my fellow travelers for holding my head when it hurts, tickling my spirit when I needed a laugh, and understanding me in a way no one else can.
• The skin I'm in has started to become a better fit. It took some time and needed some mending. I played with all the trends and at times over did it. At last, now I know what looks best on me. Who knew that it was the authentic me I always needed to be. Time has been my tailor.
• Still on the journey after all these years. Now more than ever I realize that I have so much more to see and do. I can't believe I once thought that I would feel done with having that good job, 3 hots and roof over my head. I'm a kid again at times, riding on the shoulders of the blessings that I have been given.

And the beat goes on

I recently went to a lecture given by Dr. Marcelo M. Suarez-Orozco, co-director of Immigration Studies at New York University. His presentation was titled "Rethinking Immigration" and here are some highlights:

Humans started immigrating 60,000 years ago when there was an exodus from Africa to other parts of the world. There ain't nothing new about people moving to get somewhere better, safer, or closer to other family.

There are 85-300 million immigrants and refugees worldwide. Australia and Switzerland lead the pack with each country having at least 20% of its population foreign born.

The U.S. is in fifth place in terms of immigration with only about 12% being foreign born. (Makes you wonder how real is this concern, by some people, that there are too many immigrants in this country).

U.S. foreign policy has led to the need for people to immigrate to other countries, including the U.S. (Vietnam and Iraq Wars, and U.S. goverment interceding in the politics of Central and South America)

In the U.S. about $50 billion worth of "human capital" is injected into the U.S. economy annually, because of the contributions of immigrants. (That's right folks, immigrants don't just take, they also contribute, labor, skills and talents. An immigrant invented the iPod.)

Second and Third generation children of immigrants will transform the U.S. in terms of culture and economic growth.

Even if immigration stop today, the dynamics and pending influence connected to the immigration of the last ten years are already in motion.

Therefore, in order for countries to benefit from immigrants, policies created around adjusting toan immigration populations should be "values-based" and consider a world-view.

Something to think about while you color your easter eggs. Oh, by the way, the tradition of easter egg coloring was brought over by immigrants.

Pessimism - The Anti-Secret

A friend recently sent me this quote, that I though was funny and had some truth to it.

"My life is filled with drama, most of which has never happened."

I decided to keep the tone of humor running by creating some of my own twisted quotes:

"I have endured so much, in my head"

"That which does not kill us, will only get us that next time around"

"A bird in the hand, is not as good as the two in the bush."

"Haste makes waste, so I pray for patience."

"Live and let live, unless your living gets on my nerves."

"Aim low in life, so the results don't disappoint you."

"You say pessimist, I say realist. You say optimist, I say must be drunk."

"What you are NOT worrying about, is what is going to get you."

"Every cloud has a silver lining, or is a sign of a hurricane a'comin."

"A friend in need, makes me feel my life aint so bad"

"If I had a nickel for everytime I was right, Uncle Sam would get 30% of it."

Thoughts On Life's Truths (well at least in my opinion)

One really shouldn't turn their nose up when someone points out the obvious. At times the truth can be like your house keys. You are frantically looking all over for them and all along the keys are right in front of your eyes. Here are what I fell are obvious truths that are often forgotten:

Hold on tight to hope after a shitty day. Twenty-four hours really can make a difference. It's so easy to be in the midst of a bad moment and mentally grease yourself up for that downward spiral into the cesspool of despair. Please note if bad days are consecutive, it's probably time to reevaluate what you are doing.

History does repeat itself! Tell me Iraq isn't like Vietnam, or that what happen in Rwanda and Darfur isn't similar to events in Nazi Germany and Bosnia. History repeats itself cause often those repeating the history, are too far removed by time and memory from the history no one wanted repeated. Be forewarned this rule applies to our own personal history repeating itself.

No one likes a snitch (in certain situations). Comedian Joe Rogan has blown up Carlos Mencia's spot by exposing Carlos has stolen jokes and lied about his identity. Silly Joe forgot the rule that no one likes a snitch. We often admire snitches but don't really want them to know too much of our business after we know they are a snitch. The act of snitchafication can tap into concerns one may have about their own dirty laundry being exposed.

Since his act of snitching Joe has been banned from several comedy clubs. Did he think revealing certain truths of another performer would work in a town like Hollywood. People build careers on lies and contrived images in the entertainment industry. What was he thinking?

You can't have it all. Who ever said you can have it all is a big fat liar. The concept of having it all is a marketing plan developed many moons ago. It makes you spend beyond your means. Plus, wanting it all takes you away from inner peace, it compels you to look for that peace outside of yourself. Thinking you have it all robs you of respecting how as an evolving human being what you want changes. What I feel we can really have and enjoy is gratitude for what we do have. Perhaps the focus should be an ambition to reach for what you need. And, having what you need is having it all.

Okay I have to go now. I had a shitty day and I want to hear the gossip my sister wants to tell me. I just hope I don't stay up too late and once again go to school tomorrow too tired. Damn, I wish my legs were longer.

The Grammys

I haven't watched the Grammys in some years. I attribute this to the fact that most of the artist they have been honoring are not really who I am into. My taste in music has evovled into artist that are not on the radio.

Don't get me wrong I will always have a fondness for pop music. It's catchy and sometimes has a good beat that you can dance to. But I'm more interested in stuff that is breaking new sonic ground.

With that said I decided to spend some time in the mainstream. This is what I saw and thought

Totally loved seeing The Police reunite. They sounded awesome and looked good. Rolling Stones take notes.

Ahh Shakira, I have an affinity for you but that belly dancing gimmick is wearing thin. Not a bad performance, just nothing new about it.

Justin Timberlake pretending he knows how to play the piano. Too Funny. The camera in hand, the ultimate moment of vanity. He sure wasn't ready for his closeup when that drama went down with him and Janet Jackson. He avoided the cameras then.

Gnarls Barkley rocked it. Very "wall of sound" moment. Lead singers teeth look like Chicklets.

Grammy are trying to keep up with the times with that American Idol-ish competition going on. I hope the winner doesn't have a wardrobe malfunction while performing with Justin.

I dig Ludarcis. His music is hype and he was sooo good in Crash.

Bravo Mary J, Bravo!

Woe to the Best New Artist winner Carrie Underwood. It is the kiss of death. Past winners have been Jody Watley, Milli Vanilli, Christopher Cross, Sheena Easton. So Carrie be careful.

Okay Smokey Robinson and Lionel Ritchie, I'm sure my mother was in pure bliss during that moment. Chris Brown stomp the yard, the torch has beeen passed.

Only in America will you have , a Latina women, looking like Jayne Mansfield, singing a James Brown classic. Christina mamita, you turned it out.

Well Beyonce is not going empty handed during this award season. She got one for best contemporary R&B album. Mind you it wasn't televised. It was probably given to her at that dinner for the people who get awards for best polka and spoken word album.

Quentin Tarrantino...just shut up and make movies.

Well, the Dixie Chicks survived the backlash. They walk away with several grammys, including album of the year. Bush is soo having a bad year.

The winner, Robyn Troup, had her grammy moment via the American Idol-ish gimmick. Justin was sweet to her. Dang Justin! Why are you pretending to know how to play the guitar? Stop posing with musical instruments.

Poor Al Gore. What is he doing there. The irony is that he's all about the enviornment and he walks out to a stadium that was just showered with confetti to spice up a lame performance by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. You could see in his face he was wondering how many trees were killed just to make that moment seem special. Even more odd he's presenting with Queen Latifah. Maybe he wants some street cred. Damn Al, you should have fought harder for the recount.

Props to the grammy folks deciding to make it more of an live concert type of event. Why are people still wearing tuxedos to this event? Overall not a bad time.

Bush Turns a Corner...by Ward Sutton

She's Evil!

This beast to your left is Luna. I welcomed her into my life and home with a full heart back in April of 2006.

Within in three minutes of getting acquainted with her, she bit my hand. I forgave her because she was a puppy and I assumed she didn't know better.

Let me tell you people, she knew what she was doing. She came into our home with the intentions of ruling.

Luna has been guilty of various crimes that include the terrorizing of our cat Geronimo, bullying our other dog Perogino, hogging up the food bowl, and the destruction of anything she is able to carry in her mouth and take to a corner she reserves for demolishing.

She's evil I tell you. The devil incarnate. Very Cujo! A devil dog but without the chocolate creamy goodness. My dog whispering attempts have not improve the situation. Lord knows I don't want to go the rolled up newspaper beatdown route (I'll hurt a bitch).

My hubby tells me to wait it out, that she is still young and her behavior will improve. Hmm, we'll see. I will hold my temper and will pray.....oh oh she just got up. Gotta bounce. I'm in Luna Watch Mode.

Mental Note: Get the night vision goggles and sleep with one eye open.

Up and Running into my Spring Semester

Well my people, I finished my first semester at SCSU. I earned a respectable 3.17 GPA with my fall courses. Then the unexpected happen, I took an accerlerated math course and struggled through it. What is normally a 13 week course was done in 13 days! Insane to say the least. I got a D. Uggh! My GPA took a good wallop and now I'll have to spend the spring digging myself out of the hole to get back up into the 3.something range.

I ate some humble pie, and it didn't taste too good. A word to the wise, never take an accerlerated class in a subject you're not too familiar with and/or traditionally have struggled with.

You see people, one lives and learns everyday.

365 Days Later - My Thoughts on 2006

Whew child! What a year it was for yours truly. If I had to some up my feelings about 2006, it would be "I either aint see it coming, or it's been a long-time coming."

This is how I break it down:

Best Decision that still freaks me out - I changed my mind set from focusing on surviving to thriving. I packed my cookies and hauled them to CT to reunite with my beloved Marcos. I also left a dead-end job and went back to school full-time to become a teacher. I'm grateful! But, honey on certain days and at certain times my mind goes AHHHH.....will I be okay? Stay tuned.

Worst moment that use to turn me out - My dear friend Willie Ninja went to his rest in early September. I was heartbroken. I had visited him only a month prior in the hospital and held his hand while we talked about him coming back home to his mother Esther. I sobbed over that loss. He was one of the good ones. Losing him left me feeling the blues.

Shortly after his passing, I had a dream and he was in it. He looked great and turn to me and said "Allan, I'm not really dead. I just wanted to avoid my creditors." Meanwhile, the dream was set in a fab department store and he and I were browsing through the couture. Live it up mother ninja in the after-life. And, keep an eye-out for your child on this plane. Thanks for the message mama. I get it! Death doesn't hold court like it use to anymore.

Best Georgie Porgie GAGGGGGING Moment - Tell me Georgie wasn't ready for the reversal of fortune he had been having. Tell me he didn't fall apart and scramble to come together when the power shift rocked his world. And, NOW he wants to play nice. I don't know if you're gonna be able to fix the INSANE mess you created, but at least your ability to do more damage has been reigned in.

Best Example of How Powerful People Get Away With Murder - Rummy you lucky that the system ya have going on in DC lets people off da hook via spin, distraction and the convenient resignation. We as a country need to look into that. Damn shame you walk away with a gold-watch and farewell party. Others more experienced, closer to the ground and wiser than you tried to advise you. Yet, you chose wrong over and over again. Shameful!

Bachelor Parties Should Not Be Deadly - NYPD you need to get it right. Diallo, Bell, Guzman, Bumpers, Stewart. The list keeps growing of innocent people killed at the hands of police officers. I'm between a rock and a hard place here. My brother is in law enforcement and I respect people that do that work. What I don't respect is the lies and cover up used to avoid dealing with the issues that lead to racial profiling, corrupt cops and poor training.

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are - To my brethren and sisterren still in the closet, let me say you belong out in the sun with the rest of us. Join Ellen, Doogie, Lance, and the many others that have taken the leap. The leap into being out, loud and proud. At the end of the day, while the closet may be functional, the key for the lock is shame. And, that key can be used to open or close the door. You don't have to call it gay, queer, bi or questioning, just call it something. Looking away, or putting your head down only leaves you chipping away at the respect you deserve.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun - I'm not about to bash Britney, Lindsay, Whitney or those other girls out there acting out. From what I see growing up female in American culture is a challenging process. I mean your either a "good" or "bad' girl. You don't get that "boys will be boys pass" that the fellas do. What I will offer some words of advice. Slow it down and think "Is this really going to sustain me? Does this really have value for me? Am I really happy?" Woman are capable of amazing things, more so than men. I'm not saying this to patronize the female gender, but because I've seen it myself. Girls bring it to the next level and become the ladies that will show the boys how it's really done.

World Peace! What A Concept - Finally I ask all my faithful readers to consider this activity for New Year's Day. Spread the word to those near and dear to you that at 1:00 pm whether you are together or miles apart you will all THINK PEACE. Meditate on the idea of love, truth and fairness ruling the hearts and mind of all. Visualize expressions of humility, compassion and kindness washing over the faces of millions. Send the energy of PEACE out into the universe on New Year's Day. Then think about what you can do with your mind, body and soul to support a revised peace movement. Let's make 2007 a slice of heaven on earth.

Olbermann: the beginning of the end of America

Ring the alarm! If you didn't catch this, take a few minutes to learn what's going down. Take action in November.

Rest In Peace Willie Ninja

Early this morning I was given the sad news that Willie Ninja has passed away. He had been ill for sometime and has now gone to his final rest. I will miss him so much. Hanging out with Willie was always an adventure. He loved beauty, fabulousness and anything fierce. My heart goes out to his mother Esther. I pray she finds comfort in her friends and family soon.

Last night I played for a friend the song "Deep In Vogue" which I co-wrote with Willie Ninja many years ago. I had not played that song in years, or told the story of how Willie and I got cheated out of publishing rights. In updating the story I shared how Willie gave me props for my contribution to the song; whenever he spoke about it on the many panels he sat on, discussing the gay sub-culture of balls and voguing. This is an example of the kind of man Willie was. He shared his love and his opportunities with those around him. In Willie's world everyone is invited to the table to enjoy. We need more people like him.

Chicken Broth -- The New MSG

A friend of mine recently commented that I have been using chicken broth at an alarming rate. During a dinner at my house, she felt compelled to ask me "What is with you and chicken broth?" I thought about it and realized I put it in just about anything that calls for water or some liquid. Soups of course, but also in chili, arroz con habichuelas, and I boil potatoes in it when I make mashed potatoes. I draw the line at using it for a marinade.

What can I say it makes everything taste better. It really enhances flavor. Well I responded to my friend's question with "Well honey, you sure have no problems licking your plate clean after you've enjoyed the meals I served you." She then asked for seconds. Something tells me she added it to her shopping list.

If You're Gonna Cry, Cut and Cry

Late Summer TV viewing has been rescued with the start of Project Runway 3. Yay! Here's my take so far:

Malan - Wow, Dracula Jr. is on the show. That queen needs to check her ego, she lives in Long Island City for god's sake.

Laura - Gee, Cruella de Villa is on the show. You know miss woman cleaned the hospital's pharmacy out of pain killers each time she pushed out a new puppy.

Vincent - He is like Van Gogh looney. Poor thing doesn't realize the universe saved her from the madness of the fashion world and yet she comes back for more. Some people just run towards the pain.

Michael - This brother on the DL has an appeal that I feel and keeps it real. Work Ms. Mahagony.

Robert - Gurl you don't go on TV and diss Isaac Mizrahi. Big NO NO! You'd think she know better at her age. That world is big on secrets and sycophantic behavior. His saving grace is that he is the most fuckable.

Jeffrey - Santino wannabe. Um Miss Thang the wearing of the hoodie, can we say CONTRIVANCE. Ms. Gunn has little patience for contrivance.

Alison - She is in the wrong competition. She should be one of the competing models. Want an angelic face.

Uli - Umm yeah ok.

Bradley - Looks like he smells like Brie cheese.

Katherine - Very lesbionic.

Kayne - LOVE PAGEANT WEAR! LOVE THAT WHOLE FLAVOR OF FAGGOTRY! WAVE TOUCH TIARA, WAVE TOUCH TIARA.

The rest I just don't really recall. Get your screen time in girls!

Let the battle begin! And, remember, if you're gonna cry, cut and cry.

Beyonce Brought It to BET

Saw Beyonce open the BET awards the other day. She was hot. Looks like she channeled the Tinas. Her sound was very Tina Marie and her dancing and look was very Tina Turner. Hey, if you're gonna steal, steal from the best. Loved it!

Happy Gay Pride Month! Umm, Yeah OK

I think we should serve Pride Month with a super-size side order of ACTION. Gays are under attack in this country. And, while looking over pride events in NYC the ovewhelming majority of them focused on partying.

There should be protest and political activism carried out throughout the month. What better way to show pride? I don't think wearing a rainbow t-shirt is really relevant these days.

Think about what if throughout this month, there were speaking events and panel discussions that highlighted the work of GLBT people and organizations that are fighting to protect the civil rights of the GLBT community. What if our community learned how to better organize and fight back against the onslaught of hate we've been experiencing.

Kevin Aviance was severly beaten and Bush continues to push for a hate-based ammendment to the Constitution. Knowing this makes it hard for me to go out and see a bunch of half-naked men gyrating on a float pumping non-descript dance music.

I think I'll spend the day learning more about what I can do to make my life and that of my partner's safer, gay affirming and prouder.

Fast Times At Your Local High School

My dearly devoted. The universe has brought me closer to my dreams. Over the past three weeks I have been working at a local high school here in lovely Connecticut. Here is what I've observed so far:

• Teachers work really damn hard. They deserve a long summer vacation.
• Guidance counselors are saving kids on a daily basis.
• School cafeteria food still sucks, however, the little containers of chocolate milk are still divine!
• Honey, it's true! American kids are getting more and more obese.
• I totally forgot how acne inflicts so much drama in a teens life.
• Gaylings are so cool. They still travel in packs of girls. I hope they survive high school.
• It felt weird being called "mister" by so many young people. Then I adjusted to it and felt all grown up.
• When I see a student acting out, I wanna shake them and say, YOU WON'T BE YOUNG AND CUTE FOREVER! LEARN SOMETHING! (Especially with the female students)
• It's really easy for me to care about a young person and their future in a short period of time.
• So many kids want the glory without the pain. Their sense of entitlement is mind boggling.
• Kids today aint that bad.

P.B.S...Passionate Broadcast System

I have been wrapped up in watching Public Broadcast Television (PBS). Why? You may ask. Well, honey, true passion is on PBS. Think about it! I bet one of the times you experience passion is when you are trying to teach someone.

To me teaching is our purpose in life. Ask any mother, father, uncle, aunt, cousin, sister or brother, and best friend. We silly little monkeys get pushed out from mother's womb trying to figure it out. Mother is there for those formative years. Yet, our world soon expands when friends, school and other outside influences share and deliver their influence.

Get into the PBS influence. You'll realize what you don't know is vast and learning new knowledge is the only cure.

Bushwick, Bushwick, always funky fresh!

I've seen quite a few blog posts hating on Bushwick, Brooklyn. My heart goes out to the community of Bushwick. I was born and raised there. Spent my first 20 years of life in that community and saw it become what it is now. During those years I witnessed:

- Slumlords focused on collecting rent and investing very little into basic upkeep of the buildings they owned.
- Families working hard at low-paying jobs to house and feed their familes.
- The Crack Epidemic of the 80s hitting Bushwick hard, including members of my own family.
- Community organizers working hard to improve conditions. In fact the Maria Hernandez Park on Knickerboecker Ave is named after an activist that gave her life to the fight against the local drug trade.
- Having creative, ambitious, and interesting people as my neighbors and friends.
- The Reagan Presidency and what "trickled down" economically to Bushwick wasn't much in terms of funding and/or policies to address the problems plaguing the community.

Bushwick has had it rough for a long time. Yet, many people have thrived in it as well. It never really veered far from a decades long history of housing the working class and poor.

I think a lot of these new New Yorkers need to realize that NYC is not only like what the TV show “Friends” depicted. NYC has a lot of working-poor people trying to also make a life for themselves in it. And, often these working-poor neighborhoods don’t have the best housing, high crime rates and a very visible drug sub-cutlture.

Just as a sidenote, don’t think for a minute scrubbed up suburbs doesn’t have addicts. They just have their drugs delivered or prescribed by Dr. Feelgood. Aint that right Mr. Limbaugh?

I think some of the authors of the posts focusing on the negative aspects of Bushwick would benefit from a bit of clarity about their situation. I think you have more in common with your native Bushwick neighbors than you think. You are probably also one to two paychecks away from being homeless, and the only reason you are living in the “ghetto” is because that is what you can afford.

If I’m wrong then I suggest you head to Park Slope. The gentrification process there is just about complete. If that can’t happen for you anytime soon then reach out to some of the elected officials and community organizations. Go and see see what you can do to improve the current situation for you and your neighbors.

With that said welcome to the neighborhood. I hope your real life observation of the impact of poverty, misguided public policy and inequitable distribution of resources has on a community; doesn’t freak you out too much.