On Turning 39

Recently I turned 39 years old. It's an event that has pulled me emotionally in several directions. One thought that came to mind is how quickly it arrived. At times I feel so much like and adult, and often like I'm just starting to be one.

Overall I say that I am grateful. I know far too many people that did not make it this far. Don't forget babies my path has been a mine field of obstacles that if I failed to surmount them, it would have meant my demise. By the time I hit my mid-30s, I knew enough people that have died from the explosions of AIDS, drugs, poverty, mental anguish and violence, that I ran out of fingers and toes to count them. They remain a part of me, and I move forward in their honor.

Here are some obersvations and epiphanies I have about reaching almost 4 decades on this big blue marble in space:

• I've seen black power, the latino love of The Lords, the amazing fight for civil rights. A movement determined to shed colonial mentalites and negative self-indentities for people of color.
• I remember a time when there were only nine channels on tv and its transimission traveled through the air and it was free. Now there are over 200 channels and it enters from the ground and you have to pay for it (Annie Leibovitz shed that light). Now, via the Interent I move at the speed at light. So many ideas and worlds I can now just click into.
• I remember the first time I heard Planet Rock by Afrika Bambatta and Soul Sonic Force. It was that beat, those words that ushered me into being a teenager and a member of the hip hop generation. Now hip hop is dead. I'm eagerly awaiting the new sound from the children of a community that is poor and disenfranchised. The new sound that like hip hop, took scraps and made it into a sonic meal that fed the world.
• God Bless The Queens of the Christopher Street piers. She taught me how to strut it. She showed me how to read it. She told me to always give it. Most importantly, she taught me to be out, loud and proud.
• My brother and sister. Our blood ties are made even more sacred by our spiritual connection that I could only realize over time. Thank you my fellow travelers for holding my head when it hurts, tickling my spirit when I needed a laugh, and understanding me in a way no one else can.
• The skin I'm in has started to become a better fit. It took some time and needed some mending. I played with all the trends and at times over did it. At last, now I know what looks best on me. Who knew that it was the authentic me I always needed to be. Time has been my tailor.
• Still on the journey after all these years. Now more than ever I realize that I have so much more to see and do. I can't believe I once thought that I would feel done with having that good job, 3 hots and roof over my head. I'm a kid again at times, riding on the shoulders of the blessings that I have been given.