"My life is filled with drama, most of which has never happened."
I decided to keep the tone of humor running by creating some of my own twisted quotes:
"I have endured so much, in my head"
"That which does not kill us, will only get us that next time around"
"A bird in the hand, is not as good as the two in the bush."
"Haste makes waste, so I pray for patience."
"Live and let live, unless your living gets on my nerves."
"Aim low in life, so the results don't disappoint you."
"You say pessimist, I say realist. You say optimist, I say must be drunk."
"What you are NOT worrying about, is what is going to get you."
"Every cloud has a silver lining, or is a sign of a hurricane a'comin."
"A friend in need, makes me feel my life aint so bad"
"If I had a nickel for everytime I was right, Uncle Sam would get 30% of it."