Jul 22, 2008

Cats Are Low Maintenance



I just had my yearly evaluation from my cat Geronimo. This is how it went:

Geronimo: Well, Allan, here we are again. Please, have a seat. Would you like anything? Some water?
Allan: No, I'm fine. Thank you.

Geronimo: Oh, okay, well than let's get right to it. First I want to say we are very happy to have you here with us for another year. I think the overall feeling in the house is that you are a valuable contributor to the team.
Allan: Thank you. I'm really enjoying my time here, and I feel like I'm learning a great deal.

Geronimo: Great! Glad to hear that. I also have to say there has been tremendous improvement in your areas of development. And, I'm sure with more time you will really start to reach your optimal potential.
Allan: I am trying.

Geronimo: Oh, umm, no one is saying that you are not.
Allan: Oh no, I wasn't saying that...

Geronimo: You know Allan we are all working really hard. These are very challenging times.
Allan: Yeah I know.

Geronimo: While preparing for this meeting, I took some time to review the file I maintain for you, and well there are a couple of minor yet essential areas where I think you have room for development.
Allan: Oh really?

Geronimo: Yes, well the first is your doorman duties. According to my notes there have been several occasions where I had to wait an inordinate amount of time for you to open the door for me. I know we talked about putting in a pet door, but as you know this year's budget doesn't allow for it.
Allan: I've felt that I've been very responsive to my doorman duties. If I've been late chances are it was...

Geronimo: Allan, I really don't want to turn this into a negative meeting. I do appreciate your efforts. I suggest you consider utilizing some time management techniques to help you insure a quicker response time. Perhaps you can identify an online course on time management. In fact why don't we put that down on your development action plan.
Allan: Yeah, sure, why not.

Geronimo: (stares at Allan for a few seconds) I'm sure overtime you would find that it can be something that will help you in the long run.
Allan: Yeah, sure, ok.

Geronimo: The other issue is the relationship with the dogs. I'm concerned that you are spending too much time socializing with them, and that it is cutting into your time needed to complete your daily task. I know they are charming and that you've developed friendships with them, but keep in mind there are duties to perform.
Allan: I'm very aware of my tasks and focus on comple.....

Geronimo: I'm sure it seems that way to you. I'm sorry but I have to say that it is not what is really occuring. Please take sometime to really reflect on what actually happens on a day to day basis. Ok?
Allan: Sure no problem.

Geronimo: Great! Well do you have any questions or want to add anything. If not I feel we are pretty much done here. And, I do have that appointment to go to in just a few minutes.
Allan: No, everything is fine.

Geronimo: Good. Well thank you. Umm, I will be needing the door open soon. Why don't you hangout there for the next few minutes. Oh and wait. (Geronimo reaches into his desk and pulls out a hat and gloves) I thought it would be wonderful if you would wear this when I come in and out, and that you should tip your hat and offer an appropriate comment. I really think we should up the professionalism and sophistication of our little operation here. Right?
Allan: Yeah sure. You're the boss.
Geronimo: Oh Allan! (Geronimo laughs) I'll see you at the door.

2 comments:

Junior said...

HILARIOUS!

Geronimo is not going to take this back-talking for too much longer either so I would watch it!

Kitty said...

Ha Ha Ha! I'm sending this to my mom.