Mar 23, 2008
Furries Are Friendly Folks
Good people I believe I met some Furries a few years back. The picture above is of me and the gentleman I'll speak of shortly. For those with short-term memory or out of the loop, Furries are a new breed of man and woman. Furries are folks that have an affinity for wearing fuzzy costumes. It's not like "cosplay" it gets deeper. These fellow human beings like wearing the head to toe costume of what they call a "mascot." What does that look like you may ask. A Furry would wear a full costume of their favorite animal or fictional character.
So they wear a costume. So what! Big deal! Whatever! The twist to this tale is some of them wear these costumes to interact with others in playful and at times sexual ways. Yes darlings, fuck the latex and/or leather. Furries want to get off in a costume that has an oversized head and/or feet. They want the friction but not with all that skin to skin moments. Well, actually they want the skin to skin stuff, but only where it counts.
Anyway, I'm getting long winded here. A few years back a certain corporation I worked for was a major sponsor of AIDS Walk NY. We decided to have some "mascots" show up to recruitment events and at the walk itself, to thank the crowd and add to the festive nature of an AIDS Walk (the irony). The event called for Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. Two characters that in my opinion are two big queens. Bugs and Daffy raised many a queer. Trust!
So Bugs was played by a cute guy and Daffy was played by a lovely woman. They were both interesting people. Bugs told me how he had a nervous breakdown as a corporate person and decided his life calling was to become a "mascot." Daffy was developing a career as an actress and realize she could pay her bills while "mascoting." I enjoyed their company. Hey, they were freaks like me.
Now at this point I will share what I witnessed, and you can tell me if I had some Furries on my hand. :
Scene: Bugs and Daffy return to conference room after spreading joy in the lobby of the HBO building. Both of them are moist with sweat. Those costumes are NOT made of gauzy light fabrics. Both remove the costume heads and look at each other while Allan checks his Crackberry.
Bugs: (sits down) Wow, I really worked up a sweat.
Daffy: You were great. You did so well. Look how cute you are all worked up.
Bugs: Look at me I'm dripping with sweat.
Daffy: Poor baby. Allan can we have some napkins?
Allan: Oh yeah sure, one sec. (Allan runs to bathroom and gets a ton of paper towels, stops at the pantry and gets two cold bottles of water)
Scene: Allan returns and finds Daffy massaging Bugs' neck. Allan's smiles and chuckles nervously. He hands over towels and water to Bugs and Daffy. Bugs is smiling and Daffy is attentive to his needs.
Daffy: Allan, did the agency tell you that we'll probably need a bottle of vodka?
Allan: Vodka! Why?
Daffy: (returns to stroking Bugs' neck) Oh we use that to clean the costumes at the end of our performance. It cleans sweat up really well and does not leave a stain.
Allan: Oh yeah, I saw that in Madonna's documentary Truth or Dare.
Daffy: (says to Bugs) Oh you poor baby, you got so hot in that costume. But, you did so good. Does my neck rub help? You feeling better baby? Here have some water.
Scene: Bugs gets up and walks a bit, without the head of the costume but still costumed from the neck down. He wiggles the tail in Allan's direction and smirks. Allan gags, quietly.
Between the smirk, tail wiggling, neck rub and use of the word "baby" I decided not to get the vodka. I regret that. It could have been interesting.