365 Days Later - My Thoughts on 2006

Whew child! What a year it was for yours truly. If I had to some up my feelings about 2006, it would be "I either aint see it coming, or it's been a long-time coming."

This is how I break it down:

Best Decision that still freaks me out - I changed my mind set from focusing on surviving to thriving. I packed my cookies and hauled them to CT to reunite with my beloved Marcos. I also left a dead-end job and went back to school full-time to become a teacher. I'm grateful! But, honey on certain days and at certain times my mind goes AHHHH.....will I be okay? Stay tuned.

Worst moment that use to turn me out - My dear friend Willie Ninja went to his rest in early September. I was heartbroken. I had visited him only a month prior in the hospital and held his hand while we talked about him coming back home to his mother Esther. I sobbed over that loss. He was one of the good ones. Losing him left me feeling the blues.

Shortly after his passing, I had a dream and he was in it. He looked great and turn to me and said "Allan, I'm not really dead. I just wanted to avoid my creditors." Meanwhile, the dream was set in a fab department store and he and I were browsing through the couture. Live it up mother ninja in the after-life. And, keep an eye-out for your child on this plane. Thanks for the message mama. I get it! Death doesn't hold court like it use to anymore.

Best Georgie Porgie GAGGGGGING Moment - Tell me Georgie wasn't ready for the reversal of fortune he had been having. Tell me he didn't fall apart and scramble to come together when the power shift rocked his world. And, NOW he wants to play nice. I don't know if you're gonna be able to fix the INSANE mess you created, but at least your ability to do more damage has been reigned in.

Best Example of How Powerful People Get Away With Murder - Rummy you lucky that the system ya have going on in DC lets people off da hook via spin, distraction and the convenient resignation. We as a country need to look into that. Damn shame you walk away with a gold-watch and farewell party. Others more experienced, closer to the ground and wiser than you tried to advise you. Yet, you chose wrong over and over again. Shameful!

Bachelor Parties Should Not Be Deadly - NYPD you need to get it right. Diallo, Bell, Guzman, Bumpers, Stewart. The list keeps growing of innocent people killed at the hands of police officers. I'm between a rock and a hard place here. My brother is in law enforcement and I respect people that do that work. What I don't respect is the lies and cover up used to avoid dealing with the issues that lead to racial profiling, corrupt cops and poor training.

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are - To my brethren and sisterren still in the closet, let me say you belong out in the sun with the rest of us. Join Ellen, Doogie, Lance, and the many others that have taken the leap. The leap into being out, loud and proud. At the end of the day, while the closet may be functional, the key for the lock is shame. And, that key can be used to open or close the door. You don't have to call it gay, queer, bi or questioning, just call it something. Looking away, or putting your head down only leaves you chipping away at the respect you deserve.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun - I'm not about to bash Britney, Lindsay, Whitney or those other girls out there acting out. From what I see growing up female in American culture is a challenging process. I mean your either a "good" or "bad' girl. You don't get that "boys will be boys pass" that the fellas do. What I will offer some words of advice. Slow it down and think "Is this really going to sustain me? Does this really have value for me? Am I really happy?" Woman are capable of amazing things, more so than men. I'm not saying this to patronize the female gender, but because I've seen it myself. Girls bring it to the next level and become the ladies that will show the boys how it's really done.

World Peace! What A Concept - Finally I ask all my faithful readers to consider this activity for New Year's Day. Spread the word to those near and dear to you that at 1:00 pm whether you are together or miles apart you will all THINK PEACE. Meditate on the idea of love, truth and fairness ruling the hearts and mind of all. Visualize expressions of humility, compassion and kindness washing over the faces of millions. Send the energy of PEACE out into the universe on New Year's Day. Then think about what you can do with your mind, body and soul to support a revised peace movement. Let's make 2007 a slice of heaven on earth.

Olbermann: the beginning of the end of America

Ring the alarm! If you didn't catch this, take a few minutes to learn what's going down. Take action in November.

Rest In Peace Willie Ninja

Early this morning I was given the sad news that Willie Ninja has passed away. He had been ill for sometime and has now gone to his final rest. I will miss him so much. Hanging out with Willie was always an adventure. He loved beauty, fabulousness and anything fierce. My heart goes out to his mother Esther. I pray she finds comfort in her friends and family soon.

Last night I played for a friend the song "Deep In Vogue" which I co-wrote with Willie Ninja many years ago. I had not played that song in years, or told the story of how Willie and I got cheated out of publishing rights. In updating the story I shared how Willie gave me props for my contribution to the song; whenever he spoke about it on the many panels he sat on, discussing the gay sub-culture of balls and voguing. This is an example of the kind of man Willie was. He shared his love and his opportunities with those around him. In Willie's world everyone is invited to the table to enjoy. We need more people like him.

Chicken Broth -- The New MSG

A friend of mine recently commented that I have been using chicken broth at an alarming rate. During a dinner at my house, she felt compelled to ask me "What is with you and chicken broth?" I thought about it and realized I put it in just about anything that calls for water or some liquid. Soups of course, but also in chili, arroz con habichuelas, and I boil potatoes in it when I make mashed potatoes. I draw the line at using it for a marinade.

What can I say it makes everything taste better. It really enhances flavor. Well I responded to my friend's question with "Well honey, you sure have no problems licking your plate clean after you've enjoyed the meals I served you." She then asked for seconds. Something tells me she added it to her shopping list.

If You're Gonna Cry, Cut and Cry

Late Summer TV viewing has been rescued with the start of Project Runway 3. Yay! Here's my take so far:

Malan - Wow, Dracula Jr. is on the show. That queen needs to check her ego, she lives in Long Island City for god's sake.

Laura - Gee, Cruella de Villa is on the show. You know miss woman cleaned the hospital's pharmacy out of pain killers each time she pushed out a new puppy.

Vincent - He is like Van Gogh looney. Poor thing doesn't realize the universe saved her from the madness of the fashion world and yet she comes back for more. Some people just run towards the pain.

Michael - This brother on the DL has an appeal that I feel and keeps it real. Work Ms. Mahagony.

Robert - Gurl you don't go on TV and diss Isaac Mizrahi. Big NO NO! You'd think she know better at her age. That world is big on secrets and sycophantic behavior. His saving grace is that he is the most fuckable.

Jeffrey - Santino wannabe. Um Miss Thang the wearing of the hoodie, can we say CONTRIVANCE. Ms. Gunn has little patience for contrivance.

Alison - She is in the wrong competition. She should be one of the competing models. Want an angelic face.

Uli - Umm yeah ok.

Bradley - Looks like he smells like Brie cheese.

Katherine - Very lesbionic.

Kayne - LOVE PAGEANT WEAR! LOVE THAT WHOLE FLAVOR OF FAGGOTRY! WAVE TOUCH TIARA, WAVE TOUCH TIARA.

The rest I just don't really recall. Get your screen time in girls!

Let the battle begin! And, remember, if you're gonna cry, cut and cry.

Beyonce Brought It to BET

Saw Beyonce open the BET awards the other day. She was hot. Looks like she channeled the Tinas. Her sound was very Tina Marie and her dancing and look was very Tina Turner. Hey, if you're gonna steal, steal from the best. Loved it!

Happy Gay Pride Month! Umm, Yeah OK

I think we should serve Pride Month with a super-size side order of ACTION. Gays are under attack in this country. And, while looking over pride events in NYC the ovewhelming majority of them focused on partying.

There should be protest and political activism carried out throughout the month. What better way to show pride? I don't think wearing a rainbow t-shirt is really relevant these days.

Think about what if throughout this month, there were speaking events and panel discussions that highlighted the work of GLBT people and organizations that are fighting to protect the civil rights of the GLBT community. What if our community learned how to better organize and fight back against the onslaught of hate we've been experiencing.

Kevin Aviance was severly beaten and Bush continues to push for a hate-based ammendment to the Constitution. Knowing this makes it hard for me to go out and see a bunch of half-naked men gyrating on a float pumping non-descript dance music.

I think I'll spend the day learning more about what I can do to make my life and that of my partner's safer, gay affirming and prouder.

Fast Times At Your Local High School

My dearly devoted. The universe has brought me closer to my dreams. Over the past three weeks I have been working at a local high school here in lovely Connecticut. Here is what I've observed so far:

• Teachers work really damn hard. They deserve a long summer vacation.
• Guidance counselors are saving kids on a daily basis.
• School cafeteria food still sucks, however, the little containers of chocolate milk are still divine!
• Honey, it's true! American kids are getting more and more obese.
• I totally forgot how acne inflicts so much drama in a teens life.
• Gaylings are so cool. They still travel in packs of girls. I hope they survive high school.
• It felt weird being called "mister" by so many young people. Then I adjusted to it and felt all grown up.
• When I see a student acting out, I wanna shake them and say, YOU WON'T BE YOUNG AND CUTE FOREVER! LEARN SOMETHING! (Especially with the female students)
• It's really easy for me to care about a young person and their future in a short period of time.
• So many kids want the glory without the pain. Their sense of entitlement is mind boggling.
• Kids today aint that bad.

P.B.S...Passionate Broadcast System

I have been wrapped up in watching Public Broadcast Television (PBS). Why? You may ask. Well, honey, true passion is on PBS. Think about it! I bet one of the times you experience passion is when you are trying to teach someone.

To me teaching is our purpose in life. Ask any mother, father, uncle, aunt, cousin, sister or brother, and best friend. We silly little monkeys get pushed out from mother's womb trying to figure it out. Mother is there for those formative years. Yet, our world soon expands when friends, school and other outside influences share and deliver their influence.

Get into the PBS influence. You'll realize what you don't know is vast and learning new knowledge is the only cure.

Bushwick, Bushwick, always funky fresh!

I've seen quite a few blog posts hating on Bushwick, Brooklyn. My heart goes out to the community of Bushwick. I was born and raised there. Spent my first 20 years of life in that community and saw it become what it is now. During those years I witnessed:

- Slumlords focused on collecting rent and investing very little into basic upkeep of the buildings they owned.
- Families working hard at low-paying jobs to house and feed their familes.
- The Crack Epidemic of the 80s hitting Bushwick hard, including members of my own family.
- Community organizers working hard to improve conditions. In fact the Maria Hernandez Park on Knickerboecker Ave is named after an activist that gave her life to the fight against the local drug trade.
- Having creative, ambitious, and interesting people as my neighbors and friends.
- The Reagan Presidency and what "trickled down" economically to Bushwick wasn't much in terms of funding and/or policies to address the problems plaguing the community.

Bushwick has had it rough for a long time. Yet, many people have thrived in it as well. It never really veered far from a decades long history of housing the working class and poor.

I think a lot of these new New Yorkers need to realize that NYC is not only like what the TV show “Friends” depicted. NYC has a lot of working-poor people trying to also make a life for themselves in it. And, often these working-poor neighborhoods don’t have the best housing, high crime rates and a very visible drug sub-cutlture.

Just as a sidenote, don’t think for a minute scrubbed up suburbs doesn’t have addicts. They just have their drugs delivered or prescribed by Dr. Feelgood. Aint that right Mr. Limbaugh?

I think some of the authors of the posts focusing on the negative aspects of Bushwick would benefit from a bit of clarity about their situation. I think you have more in common with your native Bushwick neighbors than you think. You are probably also one to two paychecks away from being homeless, and the only reason you are living in the “ghetto” is because that is what you can afford.

If I’m wrong then I suggest you head to Park Slope. The gentrification process there is just about complete. If that can’t happen for you anytime soon then reach out to some of the elected officials and community organizations. Go and see see what you can do to improve the current situation for you and your neighbors.

With that said welcome to the neighborhood. I hope your real life observation of the impact of poverty, misguided public policy and inequitable distribution of resources has on a community; doesn’t freak you out too much.

Jesus and Mary Magdelene sitting on a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G.

Yesterday I went to see the Da Vinci Code. As you all know there has been a great deal of hype around this movie. The Catholic church was upset. Readers of the novel wondered if it would live up to the book itself (which I partially read). The film had the same affect on me as the book. I got bored with it. I just so wanted to speed up the projector at the same speed I flipped through the pages. Let's get to the end why don't we!

Mary Magdalene had a little lamb. And, her baby's daddy was Jesus Christ. This is the core of the story told in The Davinci Code. Yup, in this story Jesus gets hitched to Mary Magdelene and has a baby. Thereby, producing a bloodline from the son of god. Miss Girl WAS the holy grail!

Now, the Catholic church wants to keep this secret. Why you ask? Well, they want to be the only holders of the key to heaven. If you was raised a good Christian you would know the only way into heaven is to accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior and doing some other things called sacraments, you will get beyond the velvet ropes at the heavenly gates and live a cute life in heaven.

Those guys with the funny hats in the vatican aint stupid. They knew if you drop Mary Magdelene's name at the door you'll get in. They don't want that. They only want St. Pete to have the guest list at the door.

So the reason behind the vatican lead conspiracy is to keep Ms. Magdalene out of the picture. I can't go on with explaining the story. Either read the book, watch the number of pseudo-documentaries about it on the History channel or go see the movie.

What I kept shaking my head at was the notion that the search for the truth about Jesus and his life would really matter. I mean let's be real. Like the Christian faith would update. The Mormons get grief for trying to update the greatest story ever told.

The greatest story ever told is done. This tale has no room for revision, addendums, or additions. Just imagine the recall on all those bibles out there. And, let's not get into the continuing-ed-bible-classes that would have to be offered. Like the church won't claim anything against its dogma is being sent by the ultimate bad boy, Satan.

The church knows it would be an opening of a can of worms. What if it comes out they lied about other things. Imagine the possibility if lies about woman being subservant, or gays being an abomination or it coming out you can dis mom or dad were exposed. They [Pope et al] not have it. The fame and power is too good to give up. Ask the other Madonna of dance song hit, "Holiday", fame about it.

What would have been really radical about this idea about a living Jesus-bloodline is if the author would have told all of us is that we are ALL the true heirs of being the child of god and we ALL hold the capability of being capable of miracles. Imagine if we all hold the keys to heaven. No middle man needed.

The Legendary Willie Ninja

Willie Ninja and I go way back. Twenty-two years worth of way back. Damn I'm getting old.

Willie is known for being an amazing pioneer of "vogueing." If you don't know what "vogueing" is go out and rent "Paris Is Burning," a cult classic documentary, in which Willie was featured. Hey, better yet go to http://www.walk4mewednesdays.com/ and find out where the nearest "Ball" is happening, so you can see what the new ball-children are up to.

Two weeks ago Willie and his House of Ninja, performed at a mini-ball held at one of the Dance 208 events held at The LGBT Community Center of NYC (http://www.gaycenter.org/). Above is a picture of the kids "giving it." Willie is the tall mocha-latte divaesque mother figure, on the far left, clad in black shiny latex.

What I always admire Willie for is his kind heart. When I met him at the age of 16 and I was growing through the drama of coming out, his friendship made my transition easier. Willie and his mother, Ms. Esther, always told me to do right by myself and be ME, despite the fact I moved in a world that told me to be ashamed and hide who I really was.

Willie and Ms. Esther continue to give that message to other up and coming "gaylings." For that, Willie to me is truly worthy of the term LEGENDARY.

Ahem...let me clear my throat

Several weeks ago I said good-bye to the version of my life that was just not working. I said to hell with it. I got off that just-surviving-treadmill that I've been on for too long. The planets aligned, the support of family and friends surfaced and I headed north of NYC to create a life where the focus is thriving, not just surviving.

So I find myself today, living in Hamden, CT. Reunited with my former lover of 12 years and going back to school to major in Elementary Education.

So why Blog? My gut tells me I'm going to need to document this journey.

This Blog will be home to my observations, trials, tribulations and imagination. At the end of the day I just want to add my voice to the mix.