Aug 27, 2009

Cruising The Aisles at Walmart - Revised

I saw this pic and was inspired to write a fictional tale, based on real-life behaviors. While writing this tale, I recalled a comment made during HRC's Equality Forward online chat. It was pointed out that down-low men come in many colors and ages.

(All said in whispered tones)

Mr. Daisy Dukes: Well, that's why we have it out of town. I understand your...

Mr. Wrangler: You do understand? Dontcha? I'm a deacon at my church for chrissake. And, if word ever got out. Lord almighty, the hell I would catch.

Mr. Daisy Dukes: I know, I know!

Mr. Wrangler: I gots grandkids.

Mr. Daisy Dukes: Got three myself. Little angels and I spoil them rottin'. Hey, pal look we got members with a life no different from yours. I give you my solemn word, and you ask folks they tell you my word means something, we protect our members privacy. Three years running a no one's wife or family is any the wiser.

Mr. Wrangler: Is that right? In three years no one caught?(strokes chin)

Mr. Daisy Dukes: Two towns over, in a wetback neighborhood. Who you gonna run into? I tell you who, no one you know.

Mr. Wrangler: What about if at the motel room, I see a familiar face.

Mr. Daisy Dukes: Well, buddy, you both there for the same thing. (smirks and laughs)

Mr. Wrangler: (laughs) Yup, you right about that. Can't argue with ya there. (laughs)

Mr. Daisy Dukes: (puts hand on hip) Come on out and meet up with the fellas. You'll fit right in, don't have to do anything you don't want to do.

Mr. Wrangler: So how it works again?

Mr. Daisy Dukes: Saturday, 3:00 pm, Capri Motel off of exit 9. You pull into the parking lot, look for the white Ford Explorer, on the windshield will be a paper with the room number. Bring a towel. We don't want to call room service and ask for a bunch of towels. Won't look right and raise suspicion. Oh and don't forget our modest $5 cover, need to pay for some expenses for the party. (winks)
(Both men shake hands)

Mr. Wrangler: Well, alright then. I'll let you get to it. Oh, and by the way, be careful when you put your foot on the bottom of the cart. Your balls slip out of the side of your shorts.

Mr. Daisy Dukes: (smirks) I know!
(Both men nod and walk in opposite directions)

BTW I shared my thoughts on down-low living in a previous post. Click here for that rant-with-a-purpose.

Image courtesy of


Kitty said...

LMAO! Yes! I was going to post about this earlier but decided against it. That's that real time hook-up via chat that happens in Trafford,PA and its going down in full booty butt bloom, honey.

Kitty said...

O Lordy, I think he has orange Faygo soda in the cart. Poppers and bottom shelf vodka with orange Faygo mixer gets the party started. That's how things go down on the outskirts of Pittsburgh.

Allan S. said...

Uggh! I would have loved to have read your take on that kind of scenario! Maybe some of the other pics will inspire you.

Kitty said...

We used to sit online when I worked at the AIDS project and read the convos between "breeder males" from places like Trafford and Sewickly where guys would say they wanted RT hook-ups while their wives were out with the kids at soccer games, etc; I shit you not. A number of them wanted bareback and of course they all had swimmer's builds. We stopped outreach on the Pittsburgh chatrooms because they could not be bothered with the reality check.

Aaron said...

Loved the story. I don't know what is a bigger tragedy. All the downlow guys running around out there or the prevalence of shorrrrrrrrt jean shorts on men that I have been noticing lately.


lelocolon said...

I had a hard time understanding the story plot right up to the end, when the directions and instructions were given. Maybe is that I am blessed or cursed but I am so far remove from the down syndrome scenario that I do not register it well. I could not even laugh, because I truly can not get it, not because it does not exist, but because is not part of my life experience. You now about my horror stories growing up In PR, and the fact that I was outed even before knowing my self I was queer. However what it seems to be the normative trend with this men. In their double other, they are some of the most fervent opponents of LGBTG rights. Some of them are big within their churches and all, and that is the real crime. So while I understand that the closet is an option that might works for some, What I do not understand is why the need of others to actually foment the closet as a necessary evil.