Mar 19, 2009
I'm Gossiping Again..But With A Purpose
Ya remember Kenley from Project Runway. She was that person that we've all come across in our lives. She would throw shade and be generally not nice, but yet smile and giggled when she did it. I don't care for that kind of person. When she was called on her attitude by the judges, she started crying and gave that old "I've been through a lot in my life blah, blah, blah. I'm really a nice person." Yeah, ok.
Well homegirl is locked up right now because she went off on her man. People magazine reports that:
"The reality star allegedly attacked her sleeping ex-fiancé with her pet cat, water, several apples and the laptop. The Web site also reports that Collins [Kenley] is currently being held in jail."
Now, it is within my nature to wish her well. I actually feel sorry for the woman. She has a lot of rage in her, and that can't feel good. Good luck sister, get real with yourself and do the work.
What I want to focus on is that when you are in a situation with someone, and you get angry enough that feel you want to hurl a four-legged mammal at them, along with everything but the kitchen sink, that is when you have to evaluate that relationship. If that person pushes your buttons to the point that you can almost kill them, maybe he or she is not right for you.
Moreover, if you are able to go to that extreme, perhaps you need to look at yourself and examine what is going on in your head, that would allow you to think assaulting a sleeping person is justifiable. I mean if you have to go there, at least wake them up and give them a fighting chance to defend themselves.
With that said Marcos and I have had our ugly moments in the 18 years we've been sharing our lives. What I've learned is that it feels so much better to give three finger snaps to the face, and tell him to kiss my Nuyorican ass, and that I am going for a motherfucking walk.
If you find yourself using this strategy, during the M.F. Walk, you either plead your case to the wind, call up a loved one, or put together an escape plan. You will find that you will start to feel better, and the plus side is you don't end up in jail.
Upon your return things may calm down, and perhaps kind words might be shared. I don't do the make-up sex thing anymore, that worked for me in my 20s. Instead I let it go, move forward, but I don't forget.
The forgive is important but the forget part, in my opinion, is total bullshit. You gotta keep tabs of these ugly moments, because they are indicators that the relationship is not really working. Plus if the bullshit starts to pile up, your life will start to stink and you'll end up throwing a cat at another human being.
BTW, I hope that cat is okay.