Haiku - Expressions of the Erotic Nature

Recently some of my favorite blogs have been sharing sexy stuff with the readers. Check out V's blog. Hey, even Junior shared his inner-freak with us.

I've been inspired by their posts and the erotic art of Goh Mishima. I decided to do another round of Haikus. Haikus are traditionally written about nature. What is more natural than some slap and tickle? Please note the following is for grown folks.



the lovers

caressed by the love
all of me is shared with you
lover knows my soul




the torturous crush

I said no, don't care
seeing you reveals my lie
master bound my heart




the trick

rough trade, smells like beer
hard cock, tight ass, uses spit
you pump, dump, then go




the music of men

hard cocks have a beat
funky jazzy fuck rhythms
improvise in me




the slave of sex

one that is free, yet
captive to constant yearning
for flesh, time to feed



The erotic art of Goh Mishima can be purchased here.

Iraq War Slang

Mother Jones has a collection of articles in their special report regarding the current situation in Iraq, and how the planet can move forward. Click here for the listing of articles.

This following terms are part of an article about soliders' slang being used to get through their current lives in Iraq. Let me know your thoughts.

GROUNDHOG DAY: another day on duty in Iraq

DEAD CHECK: to put bullets in a lifeless body to ensure it's dead

BAGHDAD CLOCK: Iraq's own timeline for progress, usually set several months behind the Washington clock

ALL-AMERICAN DECOY: guard posted out in the open; a sitting target.

HOLLOW ARMY: to fill out the ranks with untrained or unqualified soldiers

20 PERCENT SOLUTION: General David Petraeus' plan to arm the Sunnis to fight Al Qaeda in Iraq

80 PERCENT SOLUTION: plan to break the Sunni insurgency by siding with the Shiites and Kurds

CRUNCHIES: tank-driver slang for infantry. (Think of the sound of a tank rolling over a body.)

RED ON RED: enemy-on-enemy fire, such as when Shiite factions battle each other

FOBBIT: American soldier who never leaves a forward operating base (FOB)

DBIED: Donkey-Borne Improvised Explosive Device. Also known as "shock and hee-haw."

CROCKET: insurgent vehicle carrying rockets or artillery rounds. Also known as "cartillery."

HILLBILLY ARMOR: improvised vehicle armor made from scrap metal and scrounged parts. Also known as "Frankenstein" in the Marine Corps.

RHINO: 37-ton armored bus that shuttles VIPS from the Baghdad airport to the Green Zone

THUNDER RUN: high-speed military convoy in the midst of battle

ROAD APPLES: wake of defecation left by a convoy as soldiers relieve themselves from the backs of their trucks

AIRHEAD: base for supply and evacuation by air

FREEDOM BIRD: airplane flying American soldiers out of Iraq. Originated in Vietnam.

NEO: noncombatant evacuation operation

ASS AND TRASH: hauling people and things, usually by air. Originated in Vietnam.

ROLL UP: orderly dismantling of military facilities

CHU: Containerized Housing Unit (pronounced "choo"). A movable living space made from a shipping container. Often clustered in "CHUvilles."

RE-HAT: to give a local militia new uniforms, often without adequate training

LILY PAD: military base used as a jumping-off point to get to another part of the world

COMMO BLACKOUT: communication blackout for a dead soldier's unit until family is informed

TRUNK MONKEYS: derogatory term for Iraqi troops in a pickup truck mounted with a machine gun

ROUTE TAMPA: main military supply line into Iraq from Kuwait. Also the main route out of the country.

OVER-THE-HORIZON FORCE: post-withdrawal contingent of American forces that would remain in the Middle East

TINY HEART SYNDROME: affliction common among Iraqi units that shy away from combat

CHEWERS: insurgents who record the license plates and movements of Iraqi civilians working with the Americans to target them for assassination

RAT FUCK: to ransack

"SHUT UP AND COLOR": admonition to a soldier who is expected to do his duty despite less-than-ideal circumstances

SIMPLIFICATION: Iraqi slang for ethnic cleansing

FORT LIVING ROOM: civilian life

BUG OUT: to beat a hasty retreat

KMAG YO-YO: Kiss My Ass, Guys, You're On Your Own. Translation: Adios, Iraq!

Source: Mother Jones

The Astral Travels of Van Morrison

Van Morrison had this to say in an interview with the Village Voice:

"The only thing I love is the music," he says, without hesitation. "The rest of it is pure shit. The kind of shit that fame attracts is very dark. It's very dark. I like the music, but that's it."

Read the full interview by clicking here.

Cartoon For Grown Folks

This is why we need to mind the store people. Nevermind who is in office, we got to keep things in check.

The Man Selling The Plan

As many of you know, I'm a believer in Pres. Obama. However, I also believe strongly in staying informed about what is real and what is not, especially when it comes from D.C. So let me share a little homework I did the other night. According to FactCheck.org:

"President Obama sometimes strayed from the facts or made dubious claims during his hour-long evening news conference March 24.

He said his budget projections are based on economic assumptions that “are perfectly consistent with what Blue Chip forecasters out there are saying.” Not true. The average projection by leading private economists is now for substantially less economic growth than the administration’s forecast assumes.

He said he is reducing “nondefense discretionary spending” to less than it was under the past four presidents. Not true. His own forecast for the final budget of his four-year term puts this figure higher than in many years under Reagan, Clinton or either Bush.

He said he was “angry” about “inexcusable” bonuses paid to AIG executives. But he glossed over the fact that his own aides insisted on watering down a Senate-passed amendment that might have prevented payment of such bonuses.

He repeated that his budget is projected to cut the federal deficit in half by the end of his term. That’s true, but deficits also are projected to shoot up again later unless big policy changes are made.

One of the most dramatic claims came not from Obama but from a reporter who asked about children “who are sleeping under bridges and in tents across the country” and who said 1 child in 50 is “homeless.” The truth is far less dramatic. The study he cited doesn’t just count children with no roof over their heads. It also includes those whose families are staying with friends or family members, in hotels and motels, in trailer parks or in housing deemed to be “substandard.”

Click here for the full analysis.

Why Britney Needed Real Time To Heal

Britney has recently launched her "Circus" tour. A couple of the yungins in my family adore her. I've been honest to them about not being on the same page. Here are some reasons why:

- She continues to tell young girls that being sexy/skanky is the best way to be successful as a musical artist. I'm cool with some slap and tickle, but not when it comes from a contrived place, lacking self-empowerment.

- She performs live lip-synching. Drag queens have been singing live with their own voices for sometime now. Get with the times Brit, you are so 80s.

- She is contributing to making fetish a thing you buy at the mall. I see tasseled pasties a big sell this spring.

- Didn't Madonna use this concept in her Girlie Tour show? Copycat!

- She agreed to putting leather harnesses on boy dancers, that would run screaming into the night, if they went to a real leather club and saw leather queens enjoying a fisting-fucking-felching-frenzy. They would probably say "ewwww" if they saw a blossoming rosebud.

- She married her backup dancer that divorced her. Now, he's raising her kids and spending her coins. BTW Kevin is looking quite sad. Not cute nor fun to be a parasite.

- In her music she has recycled just about every lyric that was cute 20 years ago.

- She let the puppet masters control her strings.

- She didn't get off the fame ride to take care of herself. When she shaved her head that was the universe telling her, "Start anew, do the real work, find out who you are and what will truly sustain you."

I know, I know, good people, I'm gossiping again and taking another person's inventory. I have the courage to change and will try a new approach tomorrow. Peace.

Yet Another Flashback

As a child I was labeled as odd, with tremendous curiosity, a vivid imagination, and didn't censor myself verbally. I got a lot of whacks from mom's belt because of that. But, let's not go there, for now. I am proud to say I am still odd, curious, imaginative and when appropriate, do not censor expressing myself verbally.

Anyway. I just saw a commercial for SC Johnson's Scrubbing Bubbles. As a kid I truly believed the bubbles in that can had a face and enjoy cleaning all the nastiness in the bathroom. When I was about 7, I convinced my mother to buy a can. When she brought it home, I grabbed it and ran to the bathroom to release them to do their thing. I was amazed at the fizzy sound created as the bubbles slowly glided down the porcelain. In my mind, the sound of the fizzing, was a million little voices telling each other, slowly and with determination to "clean."

I could not see the faces and believed it was because I needed a microscope in order to see them. I then knew what I wanted Santa to bring me that year.

For Jun

Junior is still squeezing out the juice over at his blog. He recently did a post on his Favorite Spoken Word Sections in Non-Spoken Word Songs. I may have pushed the boundaries with one that I commented on in his blog. It is the legendary song, Walking In The Rain With The One I Love, by Barry White, and featuring Love Unlimited. It may not qualify based on the criteria set by his awesome list.

Good people, let me take you back.

I Missed The Boat

Okay, like all of the cool kids are blogging about Battlestar Galactica. I totally missed the boat on this one and I'm feeling silly about it. From what I'm reading it seems like it was a well done show.

I also feel icky because I know Edward James Olmos. I worked with him on the Americanos project, during my public relations days at Time Warner. He's a very cool guy; down-to-earth and no divo bullshit.

Can someone, anyone, tell me how I can get all caught up and take the journey in search of earth.

Dysfunctional Baby Booms

TLC is going to air a new show called Table for Twelve. It's another show about a family with way too many kids, very Jon & Kate Plus 8, which airs on the same network. I'm sorry but this shit makes me sick. We should not be celebrating people that are breeding like fucking rabbits.

Why would a 1st world family need so many kids? They are not working acres of land, or herding a flock of sheep. They are just creating more consumers to buy crap that pollutes the planet. The over population of the planet is causing serious problems around the globe.

Mind you I would never advocate for sterilization, however, I would tell the Octomoms of the world that they are not doing themselves or anyone a favor by reproducing to the point that it becomes pathological. I also question the quality of parenting, modern day parents can do with a gaggle of kids.

BTW, it's been reported that Jon has been creeping on Kate.

2009 European Fall Fashion Shows - Serving It Fiercely

I'm not trying to hate on American designers. I do feel they create some lovely fashions. However, the Fall 09 European shows are now posted for all to see. I believe the sensibility of the designers that show in Europe is focused on moving fashion forward. Whether its color, cut, fabrications and/or inspirations, these folks take it to another level. Take a look at these divine creations by my future baby's daddy, John Galiano.





CLICK HERE for more of the madness.

A Hate Meal

Braden provided a link to this godforsaken post, in response to Aaron's hangover post. This ambrosia of the devil consists of, two McDonald's cheeseburgers, fries and chicken nuggets, placed on a Boboli pizza crust with sauce, and topped with mozzarella.

The end result is the anti-happy meal; a hate meal.


I would improve this debauchery by:

1. Cutting the burgers into bite size pieces and placing them throughout the pie.
2. Cutting the fries into thirds and sprinkling them gingerly throughout the pie.
3. Cutting the McNuggets in half and place them strategically along the outer perimeter of the pie.
4. Drizzling several packets of Mickey D's BBQ sauce over the finished product.
5. Chasing the whole madness with Alka-Seltzer.

What can I say. I'm an optimist that believes in beauty. I'm Venus as a boy.

I Still Heart The Daily Show

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
The New White Face of Crime
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Important Things w/ Demetri Martin Political Humor

I'm Gossiping Again..But With A Purpose

Ya remember Kenley from Project Runway. She was that person that we've all come across in our lives. She would throw shade and be generally not nice, but yet smile and giggled when she did it. I don't care for that kind of person. When she was called on her attitude by the judges, she started crying and gave that old "I've been through a lot in my life blah, blah, blah. I'm really a nice person." Yeah, ok.

Well homegirl is locked up right now because she went off on her man. People magazine reports that:

"The reality star allegedly attacked her sleeping ex-fiancé with her pet cat, water, several apples and the laptop. The Web site also reports that Collins [Kenley] is currently being held in jail."

Now, it is within my nature to wish her well. I actually feel sorry for the woman. She has a lot of rage in her, and that can't feel good. Good luck sister, get real with yourself and do the work.

What I want to focus on is that when you are in a situation with someone, and you get angry enough that feel you want to hurl a four-legged mammal at them, along with everything but the kitchen sink, that is when you have to evaluate that relationship. If that person pushes your buttons to the point that you can almost kill them, maybe he or she is not right for you.

Moreover, if you are able to go to that extreme, perhaps you need to look at yourself and examine what is going on in your head, that would allow you to think assaulting a sleeping person is justifiable. I mean if you have to go there, at least wake them up and give them a fighting chance to defend themselves.

With that said Marcos and I have had our ugly moments in the 18 years we've been sharing our lives. What I've learned is that it feels so much better to give three finger snaps to the face, and tell him to kiss my Nuyorican ass, and that I am going for a motherfucking walk.

If you find yourself using this strategy, during the M.F. Walk, you either plead your case to the wind, call up a loved one, or put together an escape plan. You will find that you will start to feel better, and the plus side is you don't end up in jail.

Upon your return things may calm down, and perhaps kind words might be shared. I don't do the make-up sex thing anymore, that worked for me in my 20s. Instead I let it go, move forward, but I don't forget.

The forgive is important but the forget part, in my opinion, is total bullshit. You gotta keep tabs of these ugly moments, because they are indicators that the relationship is not really working. Plus if the bullshit starts to pile up, your life will start to stink and you'll end up throwing a cat at another human being.

BTW, I hope that cat is okay.

My Conversations with Izzy

Izzy and I had a little conversation about the AIG situation yesterday. This is his take on it.

1. Obama needs to make more of how he inherited this madness and that he's stepping to the plate to control the excesses of the prior administration

2. There needs to be a wholesale review and nulification of all contracts pursant to the government giving money, to see if it poses a conflict of interest

3. There needs to be a better explaintion of the banks compensation structure so that people understand the context of why bonuses are offered in the first place, and how that it no longer a viable structure for companies, that have a significant amount of shares owned by the government.

This is why I likes to roll with Izzy. I likes my smart and funny homies.

It's All Very Blade Runneresque

Okay, so I recall many moons ago I went to go hang out at a friend's house. He had on his VCR (that way back), a Japanese anime porn movie going. I was disgusted. The female characters in that move were constantly raped and mutilated. He totally found it fierce and I never looked at him the same way. It's so strange when you find out a long-time friend is a bit of a sick puppy.

Anyway, I saw this news article about a female robot created in Japan. I'm sure she was designed with good intentions in mind. However, I couldn't help but think about that anime movie and how it influenced what I think went through the minds of the Japanese male geek set that created this robot. I'm thinking she was made in order to do nasty, dirty, filthy things to. It just creeps me out.

I personally think that robots should not look human. I think we should always know we are dealing with a machine. This is like online love affairs taken to another level. It's like some in humanity are moving towards a mindset that we want our interactions with human or human-like beings to always be programmed to please us. Why deal with people when you can have this contraption around to fill your every need. Very Stepford Wives!

Take a look and tell me what you think.

Allan's Book Club

I've been reading again. Let me share some recommendations:


My homeskillet Izzy gave me this book for Christmas. I adored it. The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao is the kind of book that makes you laugh within a sad tale. Junot Diaz writes with an authentic urban Latino voice that excites me. The narrator reminded me of one of my boys from the old neighborhood. And, you get some scandalous history laced throughout the book.


A story of revolution that is transforming the world has been shared in Revolutionizing Motherhood, The Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo. Over thirty years ago a group of mothers in Argentina banded together and challenged a tyrannical government that "disappeared" their adult children. They turned their pain, fear and outrage into empowered political action that has become a global movement.

As the author Marguerite Guzman Bouvard puts it, they demonstrated to the world “a new model for human rights activity.” The Mothers of the Plaza de Mayo continue to redefine for themselves, and all who hear their story, how the hand the rocks the cradle, can rock the world with love and human dignity as the purpose.

Love Don't Live Here Anymore

Let's be real good people, did anyone really think these kids were gonna get married and live happily ever after. Well, maybe Grandma Palin was ever faithful.

However, once the Palin's became losers on many levels, Levi realized he didn't want any part of it. He thought he was going to be throwing keg parties in the V.P. mansion, not end up in his little hick town, trying to get his GED and a dead-end job.

Homeboy better watch his back. Bristol's parents like their guns and can shoot from helicopters.

Trickle Up Economics

Ya remember a couple of years back that it looked like Dubai was going to be the center of the powerful and wealthy. Well, looks like the hard times are hitting this oasis in the desert.

The way I see it is that those "trickle down" people need to understand that it has to also trickle up. I don't know much about economics but I do know give and take has to happen on both ends. The past few years have shown me I can't rely on a fat cat to leave me some C.R.E.A.M. in the bowl.

So with Dubai hurting, ya know shit is bad!

"Mr Vail's employer is holding his passport and has told him to wait until work picks up again. Developers have got serious cash flow problems...In the meantime he sleeps on the streets or in the back of trucks.

""One day I have food, one day I don't," he says. "I have to borrow money from friends." Having left a steady job in India to come to Dubai, Mr Vail is struggling to support his wife and two children back in Chennai. "What is the point in being here when I have no food, no money and no job?" he asks. "This is a waste of time. If I go back to India at least I am at home with my family."

Source: BBC News (click here for the full story)

This Chimp Aint No Chump

"A male chimpanzee in a Swedish zoo planned hundreds of stone-throwing attacks on zoo visitors, according to researchers.

Keepers at Furuvik Zoo found that the chimp collected and stored stones that he would later use as missiles.

Further, the chimp learned to recognise how and when parts of his concrete enclosure could be pulled apart to fashion further projectiles."

I love this story for the following reasons:

1. Shows that we're not the only mammals that use the grey matter in our heads.

2. Santino got sick and tired of having to deal with people all up in his business. Therefore, he empowered himself to fight back!

3. In my twisted imagination, I can see Santino cracking up when he landed a stone on a target.

4. Santino displayed better planning and foresight skills than Georgie Bush.

5. You mess with Santino, and you get a rock to your head.

Source: BBC News click here for full story

Getting Ready For Baby

With the blessings of the Goddess, I'm going to be an uncle again. My brother Anthony and his better half, Teresa, are going to have a baby. I am so happy for them. I just remembered I need to call them and share this story. I can't count on him to remember to read the blog.

My Global Women's Studies professor is fierce. She is so right on with her knowledge and comes correct. Recently, she talked about the benefits of breast feeding. Breast feeding is easier to do, cost next to nothing, bonds the mother and child and is way healthier for the baby. She breast fed both of her children.

Her advice to the women and men in the class was to prepare for the experience. She highly recommended that a women have her partner suck on her nipples while she is pregnant, so that her breast will become use to the experience. It seems the first few months of breast feeding a baby can be painful, because the mother's nipples are not use to be bitten and sucked on.

Jaws dropped and the room was filled with awkward giggles. Hey, she was keeping it real. Learn more by visiting La Leche.

Did You Know?

Not everyone connected to the Bush administration had a problem finding a new job.

"John Yoo remains on the faculty of Berkeley Law School and Jay Bybee is a federal judge on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals. These men, who advised Bush on how to create a police state, should be investigated, prosecuted, and disbarred. Yoo should be fired and Bybee impeached." Source: Marjorie Cohn - Alternet.org

Click here for the full article.

A Pause for Junior's Cause

The darling Junior of Juice with Junior, is devoting 2009 to looking fine. Click here for the most recent post devoted to this mission.

I wanna be a friend to him at this time. I also want to join him in this quest. He asked for healthy food recommendations. I'm going to go one step further. He recently bought some whole grain pasta and thought he would just put some olive oil over it. That won't do. Not for darling Junior.

Here is a suggestion of healthy sauce to go with that pasta. I would recommend a protein the size of a deck of cards to go with it. Just be mindful to either grill, broil or bake that protein.

Pasta with Broccoli and Garlic Sauce:

10 oz box of frozen chopped Broccoli
2 cloves of chopped garlic
2 tablespoons of olive oil
1 teaspoon of Italian Seasoning
Red Pepper Flakes to taste
Salt and Pepper to taste
2 handfuls of pasta

Bring a pot of salted water to a boil that will fit your Broccoli and two handfuls of pasta.

At the same time preheat on medium heat, a saute pan.

Drop the broccoli into the pot of boiling water and blanch it for about 2 minutes.

While this is happening pour in the olive oil and garlic into the saute pan. Make sure it's not too hot because it will burn the garlic and make it bitter. It should saute yet not sizzle.

Retrieve the broccoli from the pot using either a small strainer or slotted spoon and move it into the pan with the garlic and olive oil (be careful because the water will spit back at you when it hits the hot oil). If the garlic is getting to brown, scoop in a tablespoon of the boiling water (stand back because she will spit back at you).

Then pour in two handfuls of pasta into the boiling pot of water (cook according to the instructions on the box).

Move the Broccoli around with a spoon, while the pasta is boiling. Then sprinkle in the italian seasoning, red pepper flakes, salt and pepper. Cook until you have just the right tenderness you like in your Broccoli. Turn off the saute pan and cover it. Mind you the Broccoli will continue cooking, so allow for that in terms of achieving the tenderness you want.

When the pasta is done, drain it, and put into a bowl and pour the Broccoli and Garlic sauce over it and toss. If you are feeling like you earned it, sprinkle some Parmesan cheese over the mixture. Go easy on the cheese!

Serve this along side the lean protein. I like to slice up my lean protein and fan it out so it looks like more. Don't forget we eat with our eyes first.

Most important Jun, do not eat your meal while watching TV or otherwise distracted. Really enjoy your meal and experience that blessing. Eat slowly and savor each bite. You will feel sated on many levels.

Now if you will excuse me, I have a Lil' Debbie Zebra cake with my name on it.

I Smell My 41st Birthday....Hallelujah

By this time next week I will have been on this planet for 41 years. I have to say that lately, I've been feeling my age. The age creeps in somewheres around the middle, towards the end, in between the crack, around the bend, and where you least expect it.

Getting older is often a very subtle experience. When it makes it homes it tells you, "oh darling this is a passing thing", or "honey you should have not eaten that", better yet, "that feeling is scary so ignore it". Yeah it fucks with your head.

The good parts about getting mature in the world is the journey also tells you, "I know better, I can do better", "I know how to do better", and believe it or not it tells you, "damn I'm silly". Laughing at yourself is a benefit of getting older.

Taking yourself so fucking serious is very taxing. That is why the burden of the idea that the world revolves around me, rest of the shoulders of the younger folk. They are immature enough to think they can handle that hot mess of a thought.

Us older folks know, if I do me right, and let my light shine bright, I'll be alright. Within that thought we also realize that by moving within the light, we can turn the world around. Power to the people.

A sage told Rosemary not to waste too much time.

Getting In Other People's Business

Yeah, it's none of my business what Chris Brown and Rihanna do with their lives. I don't know them personally. I also don't know the details of that night when she got beat down by him and then he left on her own. Moreover, I don't know the extent of their relationship and all of the feelings they have wrapped up into each other.

What I do know, is that a lot of people fall victim to abuse at the hands of their so called loved one. I also know that part of what goes with the physical abuse is a mental abuse, that often leaves the victims feeling confused about what exactly is going on. I've also seen and experienced that when you are young, you think you can do something to make that special person in your life, do right by you and never hurt you again.

It's been reported that Rihanna didn't call the cops on Chris after he beat her. It was her screams caused by the pain of the attack that were overheard by a good samaritan, that prompted the call to the cops. This leads me to believe that what happen that night was business as usual.

Rihanna call Tina Turner and get schooled. You are too young and talented to latch onto some punk that will be the next Bobby Brown or Danny Bonaduce. Let me say young lady, that things will never be the same. The trust was broken, and you've been violated.

It would be amazing to send a message to the young girls that look up to you, that it is never cool for a guy to beat you.