I'm not trying to be morbid with this post. What my intentions are is believe it or not, celebratory. The time and place I decided to be reborn includes, at the age of 16, I would be in the thick of the AIDS epidemic in NYC.
As those of you near and dear to me know, I use to volunteer at the Gay and Lesbian Center of NYC. I was part member of the Gay and Lesbian Youth of NY (GLYNY). Our group had to volunteer a number of hours in order for us to meet for free at the Center. One of my jobs was to escort young men into the newly formed headquarters of the Gay Men Health Crisis (GMHC).
I remeber so vividly bringing these gorgeous and affluent looking white men up to the second floor. When I opened the door to the space where GHMC lived, in my eyes, basically a long corridor of scared looking men. I have total recall of opening the door and watching the rows of seated men on each side of the hall look towards the door in shock. As a young gayling I didn't understand. Now I know that perhaps many of them were scared to see the familiar face of a trick that was aslo being tested to see if they had the "gay cancer." AIDS was called gay cancer back in those days.
Soon after that experience I started hearing from friends and acquaintences the long list of people I knew that had died. My people were dying at the ages of 18, 19, 20, 21. I think you get the picture. It's a mind fuck to be so young and see so many of your peers die. I send much love and healing to the men and women that served in Georgie's war.
Enough of the past and let me tell you about the present. For a long time I missed Angie, Memo, Sandy, Danny, David and so many others. Most recently I lost Willie. the mother of the House of Ninja. Oh how I wish they were here, and that you can know them.
Now here is the uplifting part. These wonderful beings I just mentioned still show me love. When life takes its toll, which you know it does, I get inspired by them. I remember what they had to overcome to be the fab beings that I came to know and love. They got dissed, kicked and pissed upon but they move towards being FAB.
Some would say their Fabness lived in a bubble. I would argue, doesn't most Fabness live in a bubble, and that some bubbles are bigger than others. In their time they created an energy and culture that gave excitment and refuge to so many.
Being FAB is important. Being FAB means that despite what you have been told by the wold around, you that you suck, you believe that you don't. Being FAB means you have remebered what is unique and cute about you and that the world needs to see it. This little of light of mine, I'm gonna let is shine. The being FAB I'm talking about, moves beyond the bullshit and illuminates LOVE and TRUTH.
When I'm in the light I walk to school each day being grateful. I thank the higher power for Marcos and how he supports me. I also think back to my teachers from school and the tools they gave me. I also think about my Willie and the legendary queens of the pier, for teaching me to have some cojones in life with charming grace, and a heaping serving of FABNESS.
Ladies and gentleman, behold, you are reading the thoughts of a being that this earth is blessed to have. I am here with the determination to give all that I have, so that you can give all of your blessings and talents to others.