There She Is

I'm just gonna come out and say it. I want to see the revamped and sexified Miss America pagent. Last year the airing of Miss America disappeared from network television and got sent down the food chain. Country Music Television (CMT) came to the rescue and aired it on their network. Pageants are big in the south y'all.

What did the Miss America pageant in, was not just low ratings, but they had serious competition from Donald Trump's Miss USA hoochie show. Let's be honest the Miss USA girls will put out and party hard. Hey, even Miss Teen USA got her lesbian action on with Miss USA. And, Miss USA used her manicured pinky nail to shovel coke up her nose. Sex and scandal sell. We all know this.

In contrast, the Miss America girls will at most give you a hand job. They keep their talons hidden. As for the freak in them, well she'll surface only on special occassions, or much later down the road when the spotlight moved on. Unless, her spot gets blown up like they did to Vanessa Williams.

Well, TLC is airing the show this Saturday. Check your local listings. In order to rally some viewers TLC did a reality show called "Reality Check" where we got introduced to the Miss America contestants. The show was America's Next Top Model meets The Real World, by way of What Not To Wear. You get the picture. They revamped the girls by making them mall-like edgy.

What I found funny was the Hair and Fashion Queens worked hard to help these girls shed their Pageant Veneers. Some of the ladies took the risk, while others were not so eager to break the mold.

I have paperwork to do on Saturday for school. I'm gonna need some diversion to get me through it. I'm hoping Miss America's attempt at being new, sexy and edgy will be interesting to watch. I can see the opening number now. The music will have a pop feel but with some hip-hop beat undercurrents. The ladies are gonna strut it with attitude and be required to make sharp quick turns into a pose.

I can hear it from some of you, "Allan you're being a male pig." My response to that is "No honey, I'm being a catty queen." I laugh at and mock all exaggerations of male and female representations that are based on contrived ideas. And, a lot of those people involved in that pageant world, would have NOOOO problem looking down their nose at me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, two wrongs don't make a right. But, let's be honesty some time it feels good to be a bitch.