Jan 14, 2008

My Bizzare Four-Legged Children

Marcos and I share our home and love with two Shih Tzus,Perogino and Luna, and a black and white American-Short Hair cat named Geronimo. We take very good care of them. They go to the Vet every year for their shots and a check-up. We feed them good quality food. They even sleep in our bed. What do we get in return?

Geronimo obviously didn't get the memo that cats are suppose to be a low-maintenance pet. He enjoys the great outdoors. I don't fault him for that, but he has made me his fucking doorman. I let him in and out so many times during the day and night that I am loosing my patience.

He meows to go out, and shakes the storm door to signal me to let him in. I thought of putting a pet door, but there are several other cats in the neighborhood that go out, and I'm afraid they will come in and the dogs will kill a neighbor's cat.

Recently Geronimo has found it cute to summon me to let him in, and when I open the door he just sits there and looks at me. So I'm standing there, letting all the cold air in saying "Umm, Geronimo your either in or out! What is it going to be?" I then slam the door in his face and leave pissed, to only have him pound on the door a few minutes later and pull the same shit.

Luna is still fascinated with destroying things. She has shown no signs of being a lady. In fact when she goes for her walks, rather than squatting down to pee, she lifts her leg up like a male dog. She got that from Perogino. My neighbors see her and ask me what is his name. I then reply Luna. One guy even said "She's a girl dog? Why does she pee like that?" Because she's a lesbian!

As for Perogino he creeps me out at times. He will come in front of me, sit and just stare. I'll ask him if he's hungry, or wants to go out, or go to pick him up but then he backs away. I once clocked him staring at me for three minutes. What is that about? Is he plotting against me or does he have a perverse inter-species crush? Just plain creepy.

Let me end here. I'm sure I'll be summoned shortly to tend to my doorman duties.


Kitty said...

Cats don't have owners they have staff. Obviously the two dogs have watched how the cat handles you and decided that they wanted in on that deal.

Allan S. said...

Oh I'm convinced they are all in on this together. They want to rule and accomplish this by having our heads spin in various directions so that we are in a constant obedient stupor.